Recently, I have experienced some pain. Physical, emotional, and mental. It is sometimes difficult to see God’s place in my problems because a clear view of His role is often blurred by myths that I sometimes believe.

If i respond to my difficulty in the context of these myths, my problems only compound. Here are a few myths as they relate to pain. I’m sure I’ll have some more later.

1) Pain is punishment. When my life is impacted by difficulty, my mind tends to race through my past to find out “why I am being punished.” I review my life to see if some failure will explain my pain.

Though it is true that God does discipline his children, it is also true not all difficulty is discipline. And if you are a christian, none of it is punishment. Discipline is different than punishment. Discipline is intended to nudge me back to living properly.

2) Pain is unproductive. – In my addiction to pleasure, peace, comfort, and ease, I sometimes see pain as a nonproductive interruption. Pain brings me to a clear sense of myself, and it clarifies my values. When tragedy strikes, or a dog bites, all that I wrongly valued so highly is quickly put in its rightful position. Trouble brings God, family, and friends, into sharp focus. Trouble is not intended to make me break, or make me bitter, but to make me better.

3) Pain indicates a spiritual failure. – It is easy to assume that the “good life” is a sign of God’s blessing. I have been told that if I have plenty of faith, I canbe happy, healthy, and wealthy. Thanks Joel Osteen. But in this context, trouble becomes a reflection on my spiritual standing with God. The Bible is pretty clear that some of God’s most faithful and mature people have suffered ill health, trouble, and trauma of all kinds.

4) Pain is not good. – I am quick to define good only in terms of comfort, convenience, and prosperity. God indicates that in the big picture, pain is part of a process that can ultimately come to that which is good.

That’s all the myths I have for now. I might think of more as I’m in pain!

Exactly one month ago today, I was attacked by Rover. Rover was an 85lb German Shepherd. The last month has been challenging and enlightening.

Here are a few observations I’ve made over the last 30 days. Random observations in no particular order.

1) People are generally nice and curious about my “terminator” device. I must have shared my story a hundred times. Each time I’ve noticed however, the story gets shorter and shorter.

2) 80% of the people that have asked me “what happened”, have then shared their own dog attack story as well. Some far worse than mine. Sadly one story ended in the death of a child. This was a large cross section of people that have told me their stories. Waiters, teachers, facebook friends, neighbors, policeman, strangers, nurses, etc.

3) The most common question after I tell my story is, “Does it hurt?”. Seems like a silly question to me. If you see a person with four, 5″ rods drilled into his arm and hand, along with a 6″ pin sticking out of the side of his arm, it probably doesn’t feel to good.

4) The second most common question is, “What happened to the dog?” You can draw your own conclusions about this observation. I wonder if they are asking because they are concerned for the well-being of the dog, or if they are asking to make sure the dog was euthanized.

5) My attitude toward dogs has not changed. I have no problem with dogs. Any problems I do have are with dog owners.

6) I did find these statistics sadly intriguing….
Here is the link, but here are a few I’ve listed quickly.

* 75 million dogs in USA
* 5 million dog bites/attacks a year – that is 1 in 6 people in US will get bit this year
* 800,000 million dog bites/attacks require medical attention annually
* 368,000 dog bites/attacks require emergency room medical attention annually (that is a little over 1,000 people a day have to go to the ER due to dog attacks)
* Dog bites/attacks are second leading cause of ER visits by children, and 5th leading cause overall
* Children are the most frequent victims
* 86% of dog bites are to the face
* 33 people were mauled to death in 2007

First some apologies…..

1) Sorry I haven’t returned phone calls, emails, and texts this week.
2) Sorry I haven’t posted my Monday morning ordeal until now.
3) Sorry for all the typos you’re about to read. Typing is challenging.

Second, some thank you’s

Thank you for your prayers, phone calls, emails, text messages, facebook notes, instant messages, and visits.  Thanks for taking care of me and my family once again in our time of need.  Thanks forall the meals, hugs, gifts, and personal sacrifices you have made.  We are reminded again about how great our friends and family are!

Now for the story……

February 2nd I woke up at 6am to get ready or work.  I was going to ride the train today, like the entire week before, because I had a car in the shop and was down to one vehicle.  So at 6:25am I grabbed my laptop and mountain dew and left for my 10 minute walk to the train station in downtown Lemont.

I walk the same route everyday.  Logan Street to Park Place, turn right on Division, left on Joliet, right on Illinois, and the left to the station.  Like I said, a nice 10 minute walk that I have taken literally hundreds of times.  But today’s walk was different.

It was a cool 10 degrees at 6:25am, the sun had not yet risen, and not a cloud in he sky.  A nice, quiet, crisp, walk.   Until I turned on Joliet Street.

I noticed guy had opened his garage, started his truck, and was loading tools like he was getting ready for work.  I thought nothing of it, and continued to walk past the house.  That’s when my walks to the train changed forever.

I heard a dog barking behind me, so I turned.  I then saw a full- sized adult german shepherd running full speed at me!  I was on the oher side of the street, so I had a little time to think.  “Was it just wanting to play, or was it going to attack me?”  So I started to yell loudly “hey, hey, hey”, hoping to get the owners attention, and let the dog know I was a person, and not an animal.

Well, the dog wasn’t wanting to play, it was trying to hurt me!  So I went into “self defense” mode.  That’s right – I became NINJA GREG!   Too bad ninja Greg doesn’t really exist.

The dog grabbed my left hand with it’s jaws, then attacked my right hand.  After I got my hands free, we had a few pushes back and forth, then the dog jumped and went for my face.  I then put my right forearm under the dog’s mouth, as he was in mid-air, and threw him off to the side.  I’m not sure where I got the strength to throw an 80 lb german shepherd, but I did.  However, I lost my balance and fell backwards.

Putting my left arm out to protect my fall, I hit the ground and broke it instantly.  I knew it was broken, but had to get up and continue to protect myself from the german shepherd.  Fortunately, the dog only lunged at me a few more times before the owner came out and pulled the dog away and put him inside.  It was an amazing sense of relief.

I then dropped to one knee in pain holding my arm and hands.  The owner was so upset and distraught about what just happened he started vomitting.  I knew my injuries were serious and needed to get to a hospital, so I got his name, picked up my computer, and walked back home.  He was in no condition to drive me home.

I arrived home after my 1/2 mile walk, rang the doorbell, and subsequently scared Caroline.  It was still dark, and she was wondering, “who is ringing my doorbell at 6:50am?”    She opened the door, saw my bleeding and in pain, I then said to her, “it’s going to be a bad day.”   I then had to lay down on the floor of the living room or I was going t pass out.  I guess the adrenaline had worn off.  Caroline called our good friend Karrie to come over, so she could take me to the emergency room.

I got to the emergency roon in Bollingbrook.  They took x-rays.  The doctor saw the x-rays, and immediately started an IV of narcotic pain medicine.  The doctor told me that the large forearm bone (radius) had been broken in numerous pieces.  There was no way of setting it.  I needed surgery, and I needed it soon.

Fast forwarding a little now….  surgery was done on Tuesday from noon – 4pm.  It was successful.  Pins. Rods, etc. were placed inside and outside my arm to rebuild my forearm/wrist.

The recovery time is unknown exactly.  As of right now it looks like this…
*  six weeks in my current external fixation device along with pain management.
*  second surgery to remove some rods and pins
*  8 weeks in second cast from my fingertips to elbow
*  third surgery to remove last of the pins and rods
*  rehabilitation to regain movement and strength

About a 20-24 week process to get back to basic stuff.

My wrist will never be the same, I just have to wait and see how things move along.

Greg

We have endured one of the hardest things our family has had to face thus far in our life. And we’re only half way through it – Eden was in a spica cast for 57 days. Now she’s in a brace for 2 months, or longer. There has been a resounding phrase that many have said to us, and perhaps I said myself in the beginning too…”the good thing is she’s young, she won’t remember this.” As a parent, I hate to see my kids suffer or hurt. I’m sure if you are a parent, you think the same way. If you aren’t a parent, you have perhaps had those thoughts about your loved ones. We do not want them to be in pain or to suffer. Do we? However, isn’t it during the painful moments that we learn the most??

I want Eden to remember.

I will share with her what we, as her parents, had to decide to do for her. In order for her hip to be fixed, we had to give her to the doctor to break her and cause her to be in pain, temporarily, to fix her. She is too young to remember any of this – the pain she feels or felt those first few weeks, the uncomfortable feeling of being in a spica case, the sponges baths, the crazy diaper changes, the crying that starts as soon as we pull into the parking lot at the doctor’s office, and so much more.

I want her to know how much we loved her to allow this to happen.

I want her to remember how much her brothers loved and cared for her and prayed for her and brought our family closer together as we prayed for her each day.

I want her to remember how much her relatives and friends cared for her and prayed for her healing and recovery.

I want her to remember that so many gave her gifts of love and encouragement and pink stuffed animals and blankets and meals for our family.

I want her to remember.

That’s why we took pictures and videos and journaled.

That’s why I saved a part of her cast.

I want her to remember….so I will never forget God’s love and faithfulness.

Caroline

8)  Our mistakes and decisions don’t just affect us.  They affect others.  And often times, many others.

Since two physician teams missed Eden’s diagnosis, the process to correct her hip has been much more extensive than it should have been.  Here are just a few of the areas in our lives, and maybe yours,  that have been affected.

Sleep – If Eden doesn’t sleep well, we don’t sleep well.  It’s day to day.  No sleep = grumpy.
Physically - Our bodies are sore.  We carry a 35lb rock around for 5-6 hours a day.  This takes a toll on our arms, neck, back, knees, etc.  Motrin is now our new favorite drug.
Free time / date nights – We feel bad enough leaving our 4 kids with one sitter for a few hours.  Our four kids are pretty good kids, but it’s a handful for anyone.  Now with one of them in a body cast, and lots of extra needs, one babysitter can’t handle everything alone.   Our individual time,  and time with each other is a lot less.
Play Time / Outings / Trips – Due to Eden’s physical situation and limitations, we cannot play with her, or the boys near as much.  Valuable time is lost.  Fortunately, the weather is getting colder, and playing inside is increasing, so we can participate a little better.  All major travel plans have also been canceled.
Financially – So far the total medical expenses for the first month (doctors and hospitals) is in excess of $40,000.  Fortunately, we have good health insurance, and have only had to pay $1500.00 so far.  I’m guessing both these numbers will increase in the next 3 months as we continue the doctor’s visits, new casts, braces, physical therapy, etc.  Wondering what this means for Christmas giving.  Probably a scaling back of sorts for us.  So it might affect you as well.

So you see, when we make choices (good or bad), or neglect our responsibilities, or look the other way, it doesn’t just affect us, it affects many.  Selah

9)  Roll with the punches.

Last Friday marked one month in Eden’s cast.  So we went back to the hospital, to remove the cast and stitches, take some x-rays, and give her a new cast for the next month.  We were quite excited.  We thought progress was being made, and the new cast would provide both Eden and us a little more comfort and flexibility.  At worst,  we thought her new cast would be very similar to her first one.

We were wrong.

This cast is very different.  She does not fit in the car seat, stroller, high chair, or most other devices I modified with my hack saw to fit the shape of her first cast.  Even her new wagon is a bit tough for her to ride in safely.  The only thing we have that currently “fits” her is a giant bean bag chair.  This means we will be carrying her much more over the next 30 days.

Situations in life elicit a response, and we choose how we respond to each situation.  Shall we get upset, complain, cry, and become negative because of the new challenges ahead?  Or will we be grateful that the first 30 days was in a cast that wasn’t so bad.

We all have choices in life to make when things aren’t going so well.  Do we roll with the punches and make the most of it, or do we whine and complain because we don’t like it?  These decisions also have the potential to affect many.

Like we teach our kids….
Dad – “what do whiners get”
Boys – “nothing”
Dad – “are you whiners?”
Boys – “not anymore”.

10)  It’s easy to focus on self in times of trial.

When tough times come our way, we find ourselves missing opportunities to help others.  We find ourselves focusing on a world that revolves around us.   We don’t look to serve others, we look for others to serve us.  We don’t listen to others, we expect others to listen to us.   We don’t ask others how they are doing, we desire others to ask us.

This is a dangerous place to be.  Why?  It can become a habit to focus on self and problems.  It can have very negative effects on all our relationships.

It is difficult to consider others more important than ourselves, when times for us are tough.  Just because life for us is tough, doesn’t exclude us from making someone elses life a bit easier or better.  We must not get a “victim mentality”.  It rains on the good people as well as the bad.  It only takes a short 5 minute walk to be reminded of how bad we are at times.

Lesson #6

6)  Forgiveness is hard.

You may not know this, but when Eden was born, the hospital’s pediatrician told us to get her left hip checked out. That pediatrician felt a little “click” and wanted us to get it checked out. So we went to a pediatric specialist.  This doctor specializes in hip issues in babies.  They did an ultrasound and said everything was fine.   We were relieved.

When Eden started to walk, we noticed that she walked on her tip toes on the left side.  We brought her in to our pediatrician and told him about the early hip ultrasound also.  He took a look and told us she’s fine. We were again relieved.

Our pediatrician of course saw her multiple times over the next year for shots and colds and things. Each time he said she was fine.  We were once again relieved.

We then noticed that her left leg was significantly shorter than her right leg.  We brought her back to our pediatrician.  He measured and acknowleged her left leg was shorter, but also assured us it wasn’t a hip issue.   He said if it was a hip issue, she wouldn’t be able to walk.  We were relieved.  He referred us to Dr. Moran.

We went into this appointment believing what our pediatrician told us, thinking we would leave Dr. Moran’s office with lifts for her shoes or a brace.  Dr. Moran asked us to get her undressed down to her diaper and have her lay on the examination table.  As soon as he laid her down and looked at her legs and saw the extra crease in her inner left leg, he said her left hip is dislocated.  He quickly ordered another set x-rays right there in his office and he looked at the ultrasound done when Eden was 5 days old and said her hip is dislocated and has been since birth.

We were in shock.  Feelings of anger, disappointment, and frustration entered our minds and thoughts. We were ready right then and there to call up our pediatrician and give him a piece of our mind, along with the specialist that we took her too when she was a newborn.

Dr. Moran then informed us of the details and then told us to go home and call him in a few days to schedule the surgery.  Dr. Moran also told us that he would call and discuss this situation with our pediatrician since they have been colleagues for over 20 years now.  On the way home from the appointment, it was very difficult to control our emotions.  We began to unravel our feelings of anger and frustration and over the next few days, it was clear that we needed to shift our thinking towards forgiveness or we would become bitter.

So, as you know, Eden underwent open reduction, capsuloraphy and salter osteotomie (the technical words given to us by the surgeon) on October 7, 2008 and she was placed in a hip spica cast.

Through this situation we are learning that forgiveness is tough.  We have had to learn about how tough it is to forgive before, but never in a situation that has to do with one of our kids.  This is completely different.

We are trying to not place the blame on anyone as to why she is going through this – our pediatrician, the first specialist we took her too??  This whole process could have been avoided and all she would have had to do was wear a brace for a few months when she was an infant.  I would gladly trade that for this.   We are learning that forgiving someone who has hurt your kid is tough.  We have decided to use this situation to let others know – our pediatrician, Dr. Moran, our friends and family – that we love God and situations happen in life – good and bad.  This is definitely one of the “bad”, but we are not going to let this turn us into bitter and resentful people towards those doctors that missed this or towards ourselves for that matter for not being a little more persistent with our concerns.

This situation, even though it is bad, will give our family the opportunity to become closer, and for others around us to know we love God and that our primary purpose in life is to make God look good.

#7)  We are out of shape.

One thing we did not account for was Eden gaining 15 pounds immediately.  We are now carrying her (35 lbs.) around for 6 hours a day!  We are so sore!  We have bruises on our hips, and our biceps, shoulders, and back are becoming very muscular!  We will be entering some local body building competitons when Eden is out of her cast!

Eden’s surgery was more extensive than we thought, recovery was longer than we thought, Eden’s cast was larger than we thought, and Eden’s pain was greater than we thought.

This made for a harder first week than we anticipated. Here are a few things we are learning or re-learning.

1)  Character is developed when things aren’t going so great. In this time of trial, we are seeing who we really are.  Our love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, self-control, etc is being tested.  Sometimes we pass with flying colors, and other times we fail miserably.  It is much like the Road Rules trips we have lead over the past 10 years.  This trip however, will last 6 months.  We have been put into a situation, that is eliciting a response.  The response we are seeing is showing our character we have on the inside.  Our character will be molded yet again over the next 6 months.  Our character would not have been challenged if life went on at status quo. We anticipate our character will be stretched and tested over the next 6 months.  We hope it is also strengthened and improved.

2)  Quality relationships are crucial in tough times. We can honestly say, if it wasn’t for friends and family, this first week would have been exponentially more difficult.  Friends from work, neighbors, and our Shale Harbor Church family made this very difficult week much more manageable.  We are also confident, they will continue to assist us throughout the next 6 months.  If you try to go through a trial, or difficult phase in life without quality relationships, your are asking for unnecessary pain, and additional damage that you can avoid.  Life was not meant to do alone.

3)  Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Many people say they want to help, they just have no idea what they can do to help.  So it’s our job to give them some ideas.  I have some friends however, that are afraid to ask for help in their times of need.  This makes me sad.  Some of them view it a sign of weakness to help.   We have no problem asking for help.  It keeps us humble, and allows others to be used by God to encourage and help His kids.  Those that help are usually the ones that get unexpected blessings anyways.

4)  Help comes from unexpected places. We let all our friends and family know of Eden’s situation.  We don’t hide anything, and we share everything as a family.  Good and bad.   Since we try to live our lives that way, we got an email from a young couple in Ohio that we never met. Their son had the same surgery as Eden. Turns out, a friend of ours forwarded our email to their friend.  This young couple gave us many practical things to do before surgery and after surgery.  Their insights were not only valuable, but “crucial”.

5)  Sometimes life doesn’t make sense. One day Eden is running around outside playing with her brothers.  The next day she is in significant pain, with screws in her leg, and in a cast where she can’t move.   She looks at me and says, “take it off”, and “I want down”.  She’s asking her dad to fix it and take it all away.  As her father however, I can’t and I won’t.   So I say “I love you, but not yet, it’s for your own good”.  To Eden it makes no sense.  She wonders why daddy won’t take the pain away.  So she then gets frustrated and cries.  I pick her up, hug her, and let her know I love her.  But she’s only 1.5 years old.  It doesn’t make sense.  She’s probably thinking “if you love me, then you’ll take the pain away.”

Isn’t that how many of us think?  But love doesn’t always respond the way we want. Sometimes life doesn’t make sense to us either.  We ask God to take it away, or fix it.  God says “I love you, not yet, it’s for your own good.”  Trust God in these times and believe He a plan that will be better for us in the end.  I fear however, when tough times come our way, many of us respond to God the same way Eden is responding to me.  When life doesn’t make sense, I have nowhere else to go, and nobody else to trust but God.

more lessons coming soon… I’m sure.

Greg

Hey friends and family,

Eden is officially at home.

She is now resting as best she can on our pull out couch with all her new favorite stuff animals!

Feel free to stop by and say hello.  We would love to see you and say thanks personally for all your encouragement and support.

She is still under some serious drugs for the next 2-3 days, so it will be pretty tough yet for the next 72 hours.  Sleeping is still very tough for her, and therefore us.  Her frustration level is going to continue to grow, as she has already asked us to take the cast “off”, and she “wants down.”

We’ve already had to stop her from putting “goldfish” down the front of her cast!

Below is an x-ray of her left hip.  The top two circles are hard to see, but the bottom two circles show her new left hip socket, with her new screws.

The most difficult mental part of our journey with Eden is over, but the most difficult physical part is just starting.
We are fortunate to have great friends like you to help us through the next 5-6 months.

Thanks again for all the encouragement and support.  We’re so grateful.

Love,
Greg and Caroline

Hello friends and family,

Wanted to send you a little update about Eden and her surgery today.

First, thanks for all the emails, texts, facebook comments, and phone calls of encouragement.  It is again humbling to know you and have you care about our family like you do.

Secondly,  Eden’s surgery was  a bit more complicated than expected.

The surgeon had to do some bone migration.  In short, bone migration is removing  bone from one part of the hip socket and moving it to another part of the hip socket securing it with 5″ long stainless steel screws.  This was done to reconstruct the hip socket to be compatible with the femur bone.  All the screws will remain in her hip for her entire life unless they cause her problems.  You’ll able to feel the ends of the screws on her side right now, and will be able to until she grows enough for them to be consumed by the hip bone.

The surgery took almost 3 hours.  Recovery was also longer than anticipated, but she finally got out of recovery around 12:00 noon.  Eden was on IV morphine for most of the day, but is now on just codeine.  Because of the extensive surgery however, her casting was also increased.  Her bad leg is cast from above her belly button all the way down to her ankle.  Her good leg is just cast to her knee.  (See picture)  She will be spending the night in the hospital, and if all goes well, she will be released tomorrow to come home.  We will then do the pain management from home for the next 4 days.

She will be in this cast for 4 weeks, then given a new cast for an additional 4 weeks, then a brace for an additional 10 weeks.

Prognosis is still very good to have a full recovery with no complications in the future.

Thanks again for your encouragement and prayers.

We are grateful that this part of the journey is over.  The hardest part was actually handing Eden over to strangers knowing all the pain that lies ahead for her.

There is clearly a spiritual correlation here.  We have learned much already, and look forward to sharing it with you over the next 6 months.

Love,
Greg and Caroline

Hello friends,

First,  thanks for all the encouraging emails, phone calls, text messages, and notes on facebook about our latest medical stuff with Eden.  It is very encouraging for Caroline and myself to receive so much love and support from friends and family from across the country.

Second, just wanted to let you know that Eden is scheduled to have surgery next Tuesday, October 7th at 7:30am.  It should be about a 2 hour surgery.  She will remain in the hospital overnight for pain management and observation. If everything goes OK, she will come home sometime on Wednesday, October 8th.

Third, we received some good news… the cast she will be in may not be as limiting as the one in the picture I sent you.  Also, we found out that Dr. Moran is one of the most respected pediatric orthopedic surgeons in our area.

We will keep you updated via facebook, email, and text message.

Thanks again for all your prayers, love, and support.

Greg and Caroline